Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Fighting Cancer Isn't Sexy: Part 12 - Cancer Gives Me An Uppercut
I had gotten used to my little routine. One week of getting chemo & getting sick. One week of feeling better. I was sick, but I was winning. Watch out! .....But I forgot how evil cancer is and how sneaky it and its treatment can be. The uppercut can floor the most talented boxer. I got an uppercut from cancer and it layed me on my back.
I got my most recent treatment weeks ago and things seemed to be fine. But then instead of getting better, I continued to slide downhill. I got weaker and weaker until I couldn't do anything. I had 0 energy. I was knocked out. Cancer and it's treatment surprised me. I was lying in the middle of a boxing ring on my back wondering what happened.
This left me with no choice. I felt like a 5 year old kid. I don't wanna go!!!!! Ya, I had to go back to the hospital. Ugh. They have given me tremendous care at the hospital, but I hate being trapped there. I ended up going by ambulance to the hospital. I tried not to cause a scene, but the fire truck came along with the ambulance and I wondered what my kind neighbors thought as I was loaded into the back. One note about my neighbors, I'm a lucky dude. They have been so kind and helpful. I'm lucky, ok....more on them later. So I had a kind EMT with me in the back of the ambulance & she was so kind. I thanked her for being so kind to me. Yet another person in a huge line of people that have shown me kindness in the past year.
I ended up being in the hospital for 5 days. I had some of my favorites nurses there. So comforting to see kind and capable faces when you are at your weakest!!!!!! The 3 o'clock wake ups to check your blood pressure does get old however!! Once again, my Mother and my sister were at my side. My Mom looking out for me and my baby sister looking after me and my Dad at home. Lucky dude, I am indeed!
I eventually regained some strength and got better enough to go home.
All set right? Oh damn. No. I was better, but I still had no energy and was bed ridden. Literally. I could not get the remote that was across the room. It was a chore to go to the bathroom. I was stuck. I slept through many days. Waking only to eat. Ya, I got some amazing rest!!! But I hated that I was "missing" some beautiful days outside. I was missing work. I was barely tweeting. Geno was down for the count.
I had several visits back to to Cancer treatment & I was confined to a wheelchair. I felt new admiration for people in wheelchairs. I felt so helpless and weak. Until yesterday. I went in with my brother in law & walked for the first time. I'm not anywhere close to normal, but I am getting of the canvas. I'm not out!!!!
My neighbors have been amazing. They have walked my precious dog and have been there for me time and time again. My family is amazing. My Mom and sisters have continued to be tremendous support. I look in the mirror now & see a cancer patient. I was able to "hide" it for a long time. But now I am bald. My face is thin , pale and drawn. Ya, I can take a "good" picture, but to be truthful, I look like hell. But I will win this fight. I love you! I love life!
Fighting Isn't Cancer Isn't Sexy
Posted by Geno at Wednesday, September 18, 2013