Holy smooches Batman! Jessica Biel really really likes her girlfriend!

Ya, I know it's just an innocent smooch with a girlfriend....But let's pretend that Jessica Biel is as fiercely in lust as she seems to be in the second picture....

Match made in heaven

I have received unconfirmed reports about a new Jessica Simpson collaboration. Jessica is set to record an operatic duet with little know tenor Johnson Smalley. The duet will be an original number titled "Love between one man and one woman". The CD single will also feature a remix version of Jessica's "These Boots Were Made For Walkin" single with Smalley adding his vocals to the mix. The duo is said to be shooting two videos for the tracks. Smalley is said to be quite demanding to the workers on the set about his donald duck comic books, ho-hos, charmin toilet paper and David Hasselhoff CDs. More details to follow....

Survivor airs, world continues to spin

I watched the first Survivor episode last night. I've watched all the seasons, this one seems like it will be very interesting. Yes, as stated before they have divided the contestants into 4 seperate tribes based on race...Aside from all the controversy, the show has put together quite an interesting cast as usual with a bunch of very interesting characters. Some are easy to like, some are easy to hate and some you just kinda scratch your head and say whaaaa? In any case, Sekou was the first person voted of the island. He seemed like a good guy. But the women in the African American group aligned against the men and he didn't have a chance...Early pick for the best/worst villain seem to be Jonathan. 5 minutes into the show he stole a chicken from another tribe. He also seems to be a lying/wise/pain in the butt type that I instantly hated. He was chosen to be the first person on exile island. Maybe he'll get eaten by a shark or something....

Remember when you had pictures of Winona on your wall? She sold that friggin' watch!!!!

Winona Rider has contributed some "nude" photos to raise awareness of skin cancer. I offered my services for the campaign. But the dude in the Mickey Mouse shirt seemed a bit too eager to take the pictures of me. He kept calling me pet and breathing heavily. Needless to say, I ran very quickly away from him.....Who suffers because I'm not featured in the photo shoot? Me? Sure. But it's really the public. They are the ones who have lost out....

Watch for the left hook

"Survivor" premiers tonight. The media has gone crazy because the show is dividing the castaways into 4 different racial groups. There was even a 5 minute piece on rival ABC national news last night about the show. I could hear CBS execs cheering.....In any case, I always watch & enjoy Survivor. Let's get to the real important stuff....Survivor babes. My early favorite is Parvati Shallow. She's a 23 year old boxer/waitress....Really. Apparently she is a boxer for Perfect 10 model boxing. Wow....Let's see how far a female boxer/model/waitress can get on Survivor. I'll be watching tonight with my popcorn and stuffed monkey Tumtum. Tumtum loves reality TV.

I'm tired of running

I haven't posted about Jessica Biel in a while. My pal Bruce recently grabbed a hammer and chased after me for three miles screaming "More Jessica Biel posts!!!!" After I finally outran him, I realized that I must post about the fabulous Ms. B.....As you can see here in a picture from www.thesuperficial.com Jessica is gifted with a large tongue. Is it as big as mine? Not close. But she's obviously got tremendous potential there....My sources say that she will be trying out for the next season of "America's Got Talent". Jessica will be performing 10 minutes of tongue twisting moves that will probably catapult the show into instant classic status.

Oh God Kill me....

What exactly do you think Jennifer Love Hewitt is thinking here? She's buying something at a record store & gets her picture taken. Look at that face. She's obviously cringing inside. Ahhh the price of fame.....I wonder what she's buying? It must be ASIA the definitive Collection. Or maybe something from The Wiggles.....

Crotch fever grips internet

There's quite a bit of buzz on the celebrity internet sites about Lindsay Lohan getting photographed without underwear. I've seen the photo(s) and it's just sad. Remember when she was a cute kid in "The Parent Trap"? What happened to that little girl? Think about that before you look at Lindsay's crotch. Don't you feel dirty and ashamed you sicko?.....What? You still want to look at the photos?...O.k. go to
www.thesuperficial.com
In the meantime I will be praying with my Rosary beads for your eternal soul....Hail Mary....

Jack.....I am your father

It's been announced that James Cromwell (Babe, Six Feet Under) will play Jack's father in the upcoming season of "24". Good casting. They do have a resemblance. But...Why not have Donald Sutherland play Jack's Dad? Just an idea. Eddie Izzard has also been announced as a "24" castmember. He'll be playing a villainous accomplice....Intriguing. Thre's 1001 Eddie Izzard jokes. But I won't go there. Nor will I post a photo of Eddie. he kinda disturbs me.

Another ASIA post? Hell ya!!!

ASIA-The Definitive collection was released yesterday. Best Buy is selling an exclusive version which contains a bonus DVD with 6 ASIA videos. Did I buy one yet? Of course! The CD features a Go remix which is a lot of fun. Watching the DVD was a blast. The "Don't Cry" and "Go" videos are particularly a guilty pleasure to watch. Bad videos, but what a blast! The official site for the CD/DVD which features info, links and a ASIA crossword puzzle(!) is: http://www.umecard.com/asia/

Scheming & lying pay off

Mike "Boogie" won "Big Brother All Stars" in a landslide vote last night. Erika got one vote and was literally left in the dust by Mike as soon as he won the $500,000. He jumped off the couch (no hugs, kisses or congratulations with or from Erika) and he ran out of the house. Erika won $50,000. No small change. But her fellow contestants and America seem to think of her as a "used ho". Double standard? Ya. Accurate? Ya....In any case, good for Mike. He played a great game scheming and lying with Will. He's a punk, but he deserved it...

Tori is just like the common folk

Do you think Tori Spelling is a KFC fan or is she watching her budget after getting shut out of her dad's will? Maybe she's looking to become the next spokesperson for KFC....."Hi I'm Tori Spelling. I like the 99 cent snackers. They're fantastic! Mommy why don't you return my calls?? Brother, why are you siding with Mom, I got you on 90210 and that retarded other show!!!! Makeup!!!!!"......O.k. maybe not.

Please Santa

I'm dying. The cold that I have seems to be killing me. In any case, while I get better I thought I would start my Christmas wish list....Santa can you bring me the 2007 Patriots Cheerleader calender? Thanks. The anticipation of getting it may get me through the miserable sickness that I am enduring....Pats 1-0!!! wooohooooooooooo