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Saturday, July 22, 2006

Tent escape to view Clerks



I escaped from my tent long enough to see "Clerks 2" and get a proper shower. Thanks to Barbara for guarding my tent for a few hours!! Clerks 2 is quite offensive with foul language, sexual innuendo and racial slurs....It's a great movie! The theater was rocking with laughter. Ben Affleck and Jason Lee have cameos in the movie. Kevin Weisman of "Alias" also appears. The "Lord of The Rings/Star Wars" geek debate with Weisman was priceless. It was great fun to catch up with Randall and Dante after all these years. There are actually some touching moments in the film. Kevin Smith deserves a lot of praise for this gem of a film. Go see it. Now. Hurry up!

Friday, July 21, 2006

Camping out for ASIA day 4


To all of you out there who are worried about me, I am still alive. My camping adventure on the streets of Boston continues. I had a nice surprise this morning as I emerged from my tent to find a local newspaper waiting for me. Apparently making friends with the local newspaper delivery guys had its advantages. The guy is actually a huge Yes/Steve Howe fan and appreciated my loyalty and dedication to having a front row seat for the ASIA show in September.... He was a nice change from the kids who came by late last night and starting banging on my tent screaming "Godsmack rules!!!". I felt 85 years old as I told the kids to scram and leave me alone. Can't a guy sleep in his tent on the busy streets of Boston in peace?

Despite Bird Flu and Mad Cow, Big Brother survives


Ah yes, the trials and tribulations of my favorite summer pastime Big Brother continues!!! Nicomas got kicked off last night. Poor thing, she's actually kinda likeable. James won HOH. Hopefully he will lean towards Deceit as opposed to honesty (or stupidity!) as Kaysar did. Of course, James winning HOH means one very important thing.....Yes my friends, Janelle will be safe from the vote next week!! Last night's footage of her taking a bubble bath was fantastic. It made me want to take my own bubble bath. But of course, I am stuck in a tent on the streets of Boston. I went to a conveiniencece store and bought some kid bubbles & settled for blowing bubbles outside my tent & saying "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!". Not the most macho or mature thing to do, but I gotta tell you, it was fun.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Camping out for ASIA day 3


My quest to be first in line for the ASIA show at Avalon in September continues. I had a small problem with my tent this morning. I was in the middle of listening to Geoff Downes' awesome keyboard solo from Alpha's "Heat Goes On". I got a little too into it & started to imitate Downes & I accidentally knocked my tent down. It wouldn't have been bad, except for the fact that I crawled out of the collapsed tent to find an attractive woman staring at me & my collapsed tent upon me. For some reason, she giggled & walked away.....Why do I put myself through this? ASIA my friends, ASIA!!!!

Musical Chairs Journey




The Journey drama continues. Jeff Scott Soto has stepped in to take over lead vocal duties on the current Def Leppard/Journey tour. Scott who played with Neal Schon in Sirkus takes over for Steve Augeri who is suffering from a throat infection. Augeri is a great singer who has kept Journey alive with three great studio CDs. The last of which "Generations" featured all Journey members taking turns on lead vocals. It makes me wonder if Augeri's throat problems have been around for a while...
No word on whether Steve Perry has contacted Journey to offer his services. Perry hasn't released a CD since his great "reunion" CD with Journey 1996's "Trial By Fire". Perry's hip problems at the time forced the cancellation of a tour. "Trial By Fire" was a great CD, but you could tell that Perry had lost his vocal range. He just didn't have the chops anymore. He has hinted at a tour and comeback on the VH1 Behind The Music program, but that promise was years ago. He is currently working on remastering the old Journey albums and his solo releases. We'll see what the future brings.... Hopefully the future will bring me a sandwich. I'm getting hungry.

Tongue envy



After undergoing plastic surgery, Ashlee Simpson looks nothing like her former self. I have to admit that she does look good, but she's lost her uniqueness. I'm not sure, but it also looks like she's had some surgery on her tongue. Look at that thing. It's huge. Large. Massive. I'm a little frightened by it. It may haunt my dreams along with my normal dreams about Cookie Monster. Why does he always appear in my dreams? Why?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Camping out for ASIA day 2



I have survived to this point in my camp out for The ASIA show in September....
I came across this guitar playing street performer who was kind of crowding my space. We got along after a while when I got a couple of sticks and trash cans and started to play along with him, doing my best Carl Palmer impersonation. Our impromptu rendition of "Sole Survivor" was the highlight. My cocoa krispies supply along with my portable battery operated television, cell phone/camera and laptop have me completely at ease & feeling at home on the street in my tent.

Just say no


I don't know which was more irratating about Big Brother last night. Kaysar's inability to keep control of the house or cute Diane weeping through the entire show. I like Kaysar, but he just isn't going to last long on this show. Dr. Will is playing mind games to perfection, he'll go far. As for Diane, she is so adorable, but the weeping and her comments show that she has very little self esteem.....And let me be the first one to say this. Watch out for Chicken George. Nobody is taking him seriously. He will be there until the end....I will also be there until the end. Big Brother has me hooked again. I imagine it's kind of like crack, except with fewer side effects.

Pickup in aisle 7


My super secret girlfriend Jennifer Love Hewitt likes to shop with her "real" boyfriend. Looks like their at the exciting part of the relationship where they get together to buy paper towels and seltzer water. My dates with Love don't include shopping and I certainly don't wear a yellow shirt when I'm with her. Yellow does not become me.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

I need a proper tent


I'm in a bit of a dilemma about the ASIA show that I'm going to see in September. The show is general admission & I want to make sure that I get "Good seats". I have come to a conclusion that I must immediately camp out in front of the venue. This may cause me some slight problems at work. I plan on taking a laptop with me along with my cell phone. I will conduct my job on the sidewalk in front of the theater. Bathing? I'll have to make sure that I have Poland Springs deliver me enough water daily to bathe myself. Food? I'll pack enough cocoa krispies for sevral weeks. Female companionship? I should have no problem there. Women are usually attracted to guys camping out in front a ASIA concert venue, eating cocoa krispies, bathing themselves with spring water, while conducting business on their laptop and cell phone.

Hairy situation

Kevin Smith was on "Regis & Kelly" today promoting "Clerks 2" which opens Friday. The best part of the interview was Smith talking about his feud with Joan Rivers. Apparently Rivers didn't like Smith's slamming her jewelry the last time Smith was on Regis. (Rivers was filling in for Regis that day.) Smith defended himself on the show today and said that Rivers' accusations of Smith having a hairy back are unfounded. Smith went on to say that Rivers is probably thinking of her own hairy back. SNAP!!!
Good for Kevin! Don't take any flack from that unfunny troll Rivers....Anyway go see "Clerks 2". It will change your life.

Long live President Palmer



Some interesting buzz surrounding the upcoming season 6 of "24". There seems to be a Palmer president Dynasty as DB Woodside(Wayne Palmer) will be the newly elected President of the United States. Palmer's brother on the show, THE President Palmer (Dennis Haysbert) was killed last season as all "24" fanatics know. Not enough Palmer for you? O.k., Regina King will join the cast as Angela Palmer the sister of the president(s).... On a personal note, I have to congratulate "Nelson" for predicting Wayne Palmer's ascension to the presidency. You were months ahead of the official announcement. I will now ask you about your opinion on stocks, sports results and world issues. You are the Nostradamus of our time!

Monday, July 17, 2006

Hoff survives another year



Happy birthday to David Hasselhoff! Forget "Americas got Talent" and "Baywatch". David's "Knight Rider" show in the 80s was TV at its finest....O.k. I was a kid, what did I know? Sunday nights watching Hoff and his super car Kitt was awesome. Remember that episode when he had an evil twin that had a super duper truck that was going to crush Kitt? How can I remember this crap and yet stand in the shower trying to remember if I used shampoo already? Life is a series of complex questions. I yearn to find the answers.

Jessica Biel has heart of gold.....And sexy eyes. And fantastic legs. And such a cute haircut.












A sweet girl named Molly had a horrible prom night accident recently & lost her leg. She has a blog run by her family: http://mollyspage2006.blogspot.com
You can learn how to donate to her fund or get updates on her condition. Jessica Biel has come forward to help Molly's cause by auctioning off a lunch date with her. The auction is tomorrow. A lunch date with Jessica Biel? Helping a heart warming cause? Where's my piggy bank? Call the bank, I need approval of a loan! For what? Jessica Biel!!!!! What? You think she won't fall madly in love with me and make me her slave lover? Damnit......Anyway, donate to Molly's cause, she seems like a nice kid.

Puddle talking

















Another great episode of "Deadwood" graced the airwaves last night. I was amused at the drug-addicted Leon who took to talking to his reflection in a puddle. It actually seemed to help him through his crisis. I just may try this method out. All I need is a good puddle and a carefree attitude about what the people watching me may think. Responses such as "Do you mind! I'm talking to my puddle!" may work to keep the people staring at me away from my important puddle conversations.

Chill Town escapes Kaysar's wrath




















In the picture above, Mike from "Big Brother" looks happy. He should be. Kaysar nominated Diane and Nakomis last night staying away from the evil Dr. Wil and Mike "Chill Town" alliance. Unless Kaysar is planning on using the veto to assure that Wil or Mike are nominated, he has made a horrible error. You follow all that? Good. Why did I post the picture of Erika, Janelle and Diane? I am a shallow man that likes to look at good looking women. Sue me.

Josh Charles performs Geno's World's theme song!

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