Friday, July 14, 2006


In the reccent Spider-Man comics, he has unmasked himself to the world. His life has never been more complicated or fun to follow. In addition there has been a new poster for Spider-Man 3 released to movie theaters. The movie opens in almost a year & already there's a big buzz. I've already seen people camping out in front of movie theaters. Please be kind to them & give them any loose change or extra food that you might have. It's important to be kind to people who are camping out for a movie that doesn't open for a year. When they eventually lose their mind and go insane, the fact that they recognize you as one who was kind to them may just save your life.

Evangeline Lilly and I are made for each other

I have a tremendous amount of things in common with "Lost" star Evangeline Lilly. We're both highly successful, fantastic looking, famous and drive Ford Escapes. It's a match made in heaven. I've agreed to go along with the facade of her dating co-star Dominic Monaghan. It helps the "Lost" publicity machine & who am I to mess with Hollywood success?

Reality TV is more important than global warming, gas prices and middle east conflicts

The Big Brother 6 alliance continued to dominate last night on Big Brother All-Stars. The evil one who shall not be named was evicted. Kaysar then went on to win HOH. Why is this important? Janelle is ensured of lasting another couple of weeks. God bless America!

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Geno left out of G3 final cut

Buy the G3 Live In Tokyo CD or DVD. You will thank me.
Joe Satrianni, Steve Vai and John Petrucci. Guitar paradise! It truly is a fabulous musical experience. I've jammed with the three guys, but they left me out of the final cut. I can understand why. I couldn't help outplaying and outshining the three legends. I'm just got that natural ability from playing air-guitar for decades.

Girlfriend from hell

Keira Knightly tells Elle that she can't imagine why her boyfriend stays with her. "I'm awful. I always have freak-outs. I don't know why anyone puts up with me. I'm an emotional wreck." She goes on to talk about her endless crying fits about minute things. "Stupid s#$%" as she calls it. Hmmmmm. Famous, gorgeous and a bit crazy? I'd fall for her in a heartbeat. I'm such a sucker for the good-looking, crying crazies. It's a problem that I'm working on.

Oscar buzz

The blockbuster of the summer? Pirates? Superman? Clerks2? Nay I say! It will be "The Quiet" which opens on August 25.....O.k., the movie will probably just make 7 million or something, but Elisha Cuthbert and Camilla Belle star in the movie. That's GOT to be good. I say this may not only be the movie of the summer, but the movie of the century!! Oscar nominations are sure to follow.....

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Trash day

I had a co-worker years ago that used to give me a hard time about my Jennifer Love Hewitt obsession. She used to insist that Love wore push up bras to enhance her looks. I swore up and down that my Jennifer was all natural, young and needed no help in that regard.....After looking at this picture of Love taking out the trash, I can come to the following conclusion. Jennifer Love Hewitt is all natural, beautiful even without make up and there's a ton of push up bras being used on the "Ghost Whisperer" set.

I am dating Jessica Simpson

Here's a picture of Jessica Simpson and I on the beach while she rubs suntanning lotion on me and sings sweet nothings in my ear.....What? What do you mean you can't see me in the picture? There must be something wrong with your computer.


Natalie Portman and her people are very busy denying reports that Nat is going to appear nude in her next film. The dreaded term BODY DOUBLE is being used... To distract you from this horrific news, I present the following picture of a cute bunny.....Damn Natalie, does she think she's too good for us? I just can't understand....wait...bunny....cute. Look it's all floppy and stuff. Ohhh, silly cute bunny.

Janelle rules house

Janelle has completely taken control of Big Brother All-Stars. She's won HOH & the Veto back to back and has assured that either skanky Alison or manipulative Danielle will be gone tomorrow. Alison is still staring at the cameras with her cross-eyed, big nose stare & predicting revenge against Janelle. It will be kind of hard to get revenge when she's kicked off the show. Unless they pull the old bring someone back thingamijig....I know. I take reality TV too seriously. But look at Janelle, how can I not?

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Tie me up, tie me down

The media is going crazy over the fact that Natalie Portman will appearing nude in the film "Goya's Ghost". Not only that but the nude scene involves Natalie tied up in a chair being interrogated. Look at Nat. Would you really want to tie her up and interrogate her with that angelic face? You would? You sick pervert. I'm ashamed of you. Get some help.


It's true. There is a 6th Rocky movie. "Rocky Balboa" will be released on December 22. And yes, he's fighting for the title.....Ah heck, I'll see it, who am I kidding? Sly looks like he's in great shape. Good for him. The buzz is that this might actually be a good movie making us forget Rocky IV and Rocky V. To get a taste, go to and click on Rocky's big mug. Go Rocky Go!

I'll take just a dash

Stacey Dash of "Clueless: fame has posed for Playboy. She's 40 years old and looks great! She's looking for attention and she's got it. It's been 11 years since "Clueless" and she has appeared in a million things since then, but none are worth mentioning....This has me thinking what other "former" or "fading" stars are good Playboy material? Any ideas?

Use your jab

"Deadwood" has been fantastic in it's third season. There's been no-dropoff in quality. The news that the show may end with a couple of 2 hour movies after season three has me misty eyed. But all good things have to end....The knockdown dragout fisticuffs between Big Dan and The Captain was something to behold this past week. I was on the edge of my seat screaming for Big Dan to win. I feel it was due to my vocal encouragement and tips that Dan came out on top. I'm a good man to have in your corner. I can give good advice and I'm the top cut man in the business.

Monday, July 10, 2006

I need a fresh bowl

Peter MacNicol has signed up to star in the sixth season of "24" as a high ranking government official. He will still appear regularly on "Numbers". No word on whether he will bring his auto-flush gadget from "Alley Mcbeal" to CTU. Although come to think of it, they don't seem to have bathrooms at CTU.

Louie Louie

"Lucky Louie" on HBO makes me laugh. I'm not proud of this fact, but there it is. The humor is low-brow and crude, but I can't help but enjoy myself! For every Louie episode I watch, I watch a History Channel program to even things out.... Did you know that Napoleon liked to ride horses at 2am on Tuesdays while dictating letters to his secretary? It's true.

I'm "Booker" damnit!

I was one of the 6 billion people who saw Johnny Depp's "Pirates of The Caribbean" sequel this weekend. The movie is a lot of fun & Depp is great as Captain Jack Sparrow. It made me think of what happened to Depp's "21 Jump St." co-star Richard Grieco. Depp has gone on to become one of the world's premiere movie stars. Grieco has.....made a lot of movies that I dare you to name one of. I dare you! Poor Richard.

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